People with dementia often need help with daily tasks and the amount of assistance they need will change over time. They may feel upset about losing their independence and be resistant to accepting help. However by involving them in the process, you can overcome some of these challenges.  Here are strategies to support you in providing the best care for your loved one.

Remember:

• Be patient and take your time.  Don’t rush your loved one to complete a task. 

• Try to maintain a routine so that it becomes familiar and comfortable for your loved one. However, recognize when it is not working and adapt the process. 

• Provide simple, step-by-step instructions so as not to overwhelm them with information, and provide reassurance throughout the process. 

• Encourage your loved one to do as much as possible and include them in the task. 

  • Try to move slowly and remain in your loved one’s field of vision.

  • Stand at eye level and make eye contact when speaking with them.

  • Engage your loved one and work the task into a conversation instead of saying it as a command.

  • Use gestures to accompany your words.

  • Respect your loved one’s opinions and desires. Don’t argue or talk down to them. 

• Create the right environment and plan your approach. Identify obstacles and health considerations

• If the person is upset or does not want your help, try again later as if it were the first time.

BATHING

Avoid Triggering Words

• If the words “bath” or “shower” are triggering, try other words and phrases such as “spa”, "freshen up” or “get clean.”

• Talk about what you will do after the shower, such as have lunch or go outside. 

Be flexible 

• Offer a choice of bath times, such as before or after lunch.

• Try giving a bath at different times of the day to find what works best.

• Limit bathing to 2 or 3 times per week.

Create an inviting environment

• Check the temperature of the bathroom, making sure that it is warm. 

• Use slip resistant mats if the floor is cold. 

• Check water temperature and pressure. 

• Play a favorite song or music.

• Use aromatherapy such as scented candles or soap.

• Warm towels in the dryer before bath time.

Prepare Ahead of Time

• Have towels, shampoo, soap, a robe and other necessary items ready and easily accessible for during and after the shower. 

• Use a handheld shower head so that you can better control the water direction and pressure.

• Use a modesty garment or towel for privacy. Place a towel over the shoulders or waist and then move it when bathing that part of the body

• Use a shower chair or bench and make sure your loved one is comfortable.

Involve your loved one

• Tell your loved one about each step you are doing.

• Ask them to test the water temperature and let them do what they can to bath themselves.  

• Provide step-by-step instructions.  “Take the shampoo bottle,” “Open the shampoo bottle,” “Squeeze the shampoo into your hand.”

GROOMING

Continue previous routines, if possible

• If your loved one has always gone to the beauty shop or a barber, continue this activity.  If the experience becomes distressing, consider a home-visiting barber,  hairstylist, or manicurist.

• Use their favorite toiletries.

Be flexible

• Grooming activities don’t have to take place in the bathroom.  Try doing them in another room that is more comfortable and inviting. 

• Remember that some grooming activities don’t have to be completed daily. 

Perform tasks alongside your loved one

• Comb your hair, and encourage your loved one to copy you. 

• Place your hand on top of theirs while they brush their hair. 

Simplify and adapt

• Try safer, simpler grooming tools such as cardboard nail files and electric shavers.

• Test out different types of brushes, combs, and hair supplies. 

BRUSHING TEETH

• Tooth-brushing does not have to happen in the bathroom. Find a space where your loved one is comfortable and relaxed and place a towel over their chest. 

• Try different kinds of toothbrushes - adult, children’s, electric, long-handled, angled, soft-bristled, hard-bristled and large-gripped brushes.  Try gum and teeth wipe tissues if brushing is difficult.

• Give one direction at a time. Instruct them to "Hold your toothbrush," "Put the toothbrush in your mouth," "Rub the toothbrush on your teeth," "Spit into the sink."​

• Hold a toothbrush and show them how to brush their teeth, or put your hand over theirs to guide them.

• Tell your loved one that you are going to help them brush their teeth. Talk about each step before you do it.

  • Put the toothbrush in their mouth at a 45-degree angle.

  • Gently brush the teeth, gums, tongue and roof of the mouth.

  • Help them rinse. If they have problems swallowing, use a soft cloth to wife their mouth.