It is often difficult for caregivers to get a clear read on their own mental and physical well-being.  You are too busy focusing on others to think of yourself or when you do think of yourself, you may feel guilty for having these thoughts.  However the stress of being a caregiver, especially if you are caring for someone with dementia, has serious health consequences. 

Caregiver stress can go by many names.

• Caregiver Burnout - a state of physical, emotional and mental exhaustion resulting in fatigue, anxiety or depression

• Caregiver Burden -the cumulative physical, emotional, social and financial impacts of being a caregiver. The combination of loss, prolonged stress, and the physical demands of caregiving place you at risk for signifcant health problems.

• Compassion Fatigue - Emotional and physical exhaustion leading to diminished ability to empathize; the negative cost of caregiving

Caregiver stress can include any or all of these:

• Physical - from providing hands-on-care and performing household chores and tasks

• Emotional - as you watch your loved one’s health decline while trying to balance everything else

• Financial - stemming from paying for services or reducing work hours

• Social -the lack of time and energy prevents you from seeing friends and family

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Signs of Caregiver Stress

As a caregiver, you may feel too busy to notice signs of caregiver stress, but it is important to recognize how stress affects your day-to-day activities. A self-assessment can help you identify your level of stress.

Below are signs of stress:

• Overwhelmed or Constantly Worried

• Frustration then Helplessness 

• Easily Irritated or Angry 

• Too Much Sleep or Not Enough Sleep

• Feeling Tired Often

• Sadness

• Gaining or Losing Weight

• Frequent Headaches or Bodily Pain 

• No Interest in Activities 

• Withdrawing from Others

• Alcohol or Drugs and Medications

Reducing Caregiver Stress

Recognizing the sources of your stress will make you better able to decide what you can and cannot change. Below are several strategies to help you care for yourself and reduce stress. 

BE EMPOWERED

Feeling powerless is a major contributor to caregiver burnout. There is much we cannot control regarding the health of our loved one, so it is important to focus on what we can control.

• Identify Personal Barriers and Misconceptions

  • Do you feel selfish or guilty putting your needs first?  Remember that if you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot care for your loved one. 

  • Do you feel responsible for their health?  

• Practice Acceptance

  • Don’t try to make sense of the situation or ask “why” something is the way it is. Accept it as it is. 

  • Don’t blame someone else for the situation. Even if someone else contributed to the situation, blaming them will not make you feel better. 

  • Remember that no one is the “perfect” caregiver and that you are doing the best you can at any given moment. 

• Don’t let caregiving take over your life.  Make sure you have time for yourself.

• Set Realistic Goals : Break large tasks into smaller ones, prioritize, and make lists

• Learn to say no to requests that are draining.

• Practice Gratitude.  There is always something positive, no matter how dark things seem.  Take a moment every day to reflect on something positive that happened. 

• Note the small wins and remember that a win is a win, no matter the size!

SEEK SUPPORT

• Enlist others to help with caregiving.  Be prepared and keep a list of activities or chores that others can do.  

• Ask for help. Don’t assume others know you could use some help or need a break.

• Maintain your social connections and schedule time to get together.  Even a quick cup of coffee with a friend or a walk has benefits.  

• Join a support group, either virtual or in person. Support groups provide an opportunity to hear from others in similar situations and to share resources. 

• Seek counseling from a therapist or your religious community. 

TAKE A BREAK

• Give yourself permission to take time for yourself and try to put negative thoughts aside.  This includes making time for friends. 

• Use available respite care - whether a day program or bringing help into the home on a regular or as-needed basis.

• Listen to music. Studies show that listening to music for 20 minutes at least 4 times a week reduces anxiety

TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH

• Don’t skip regular check-ups and appointments - this can help identify and address health issues before they become serious.  

• Exercise:  Aim for 3 10-minute sessions a day to improve your overall well-being. 

• Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, meditation, or mindfulness. 

• Make sure you are eating well and getting enough sleep. 

• Don’t forget about your mental health. As you witness the health of the person living with dementia decline, you may feel grief and loss.

Your Mellie Care Coordinator can help you set goals, identify strategies to involve others in caregiving, connect you with respite, and identify support groups.