As a caregiver, you are a valuable member of your loved one’s care team and fulfill multiple roles - care provider, care coordinator, information resource, advocate, emotional supporter, and quality monitor.  In all of these roles, you are focused on ensuring your loved one’s wishes are honored and that they are getting the best care possible.  

Family caregivers are in a position to see the whole picture, everything from dietary preferences and habits to the ways in which your loved one responds to new medications. You’re not just acting as an extension of your loved one’s interests; you also serve as an extended lens for medical professionals into your parent’s life and history. 

By offering busy doctors this holistic view, you can go a long way to bridge the gap that prevents more personal attention and customized care for your aging parent

Below are some tips to assist you in working with your loved one’s providers.

Prepare for the Appointment

It’s not only important for you to prepare for an appointment, but also for the provider. If there is something specific you want to discuss or want the provider to know about, inform the front desk staff when you make or confirm the appointment. 

Write Out a List of Concerns and Questions

• Plan your questions before an appointment to avoid forgetting something and prioritize them.

• Let the doctor know if you have noticed any changes in your loved one's health like appetite, energy levels, bathroom habits, behaviors, or ability to sleep. Don’t assume anything your loved one has experienced is unimportant. Have as much detail as possible including:

  • How and when it started

  • What makes it better or worse

  • Any associated symptoms

  • What you’ve already tried to help alleviate symptoms

• Make sure to have a current medication list including supplements and over-the-counter medications

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Attend Appointments if You Can

If you cannot attend in person, ask whether you can be present by phone or speak with the provider beforehand. During the appointment:

• Don’t talk like your loved one is not there - make sure to include them in the conversation

• Don’t assume your doctor knows what other doctors are doing - be prepared to share this information

Take Notes so that you can look back on them when you have questions

Ask Questions

If you don’t understand the diagnosis, treatment options, or anything the doctor suggests, ask them to explain it in a clear, simple way until you feel comfortable. This includes:

• All treatment options 

• Why any tests, treatments, or procedures are being recommended

• Risks, side effects, and costs of any tests, treatments, or procedures

• Success rates of potential treatments

• Any medical terms or suggestions you don’t understand

• Review new medications. Ask why it’s being prescribed, the possible side effects, how and when to take it, and what to do if a dose is missed. 

Advocate 

Speak up if you believe something is wrong or can be improved. If you feel a provider is not addressing your concerns, respectfully bring attention to the issue. By being persistent, you can help address problems quickly.