Navigating Dementia as a Family: Supporting Children and Teens

When someone in the family is living with Alzheimer's disease or another form of dementia, the impact reaches far beyond the individual. Children and grandchildren notice the changes, even when no one has explained what is happening. Having open, age-appropriate conversations can help them feel safe, informed, and supported during a confusing time.

Start with Honesty and Reassurance

Children are perceptive. If a grandparent begins acting differently—forgetting names, repeating questions, or becoming easily upset—they will sense that something has changed. Without an explanation, they may create their own. Young children, in particular, can believe they are responsible for changes in someone’s behavior.

Gently reassure them that the changes are caused by an illness affecting the brain, not by anything they said or did. You might say, “Grandma has an illness that makes it hard for her to remember things,” or “Sometimes Grandpa gets confused because of his illness.” Providing clear information helps ease anxiety and builds trust.

Keep explanations simple and truthful:

• Explain that Alzheimer’s and other dementias are brain diseases

• Share that memory loss is common, but so are changes in mood, communication, and behavior

• Let them know that feelings like sadness, frustration, or even anger are normal

• Remind them often that no one caused the disease

Model Compassionate Interactions

Children often learn how to respond by watching the adults around them. Be mindful of your tone and approach. Avoid speaking in “baby talk” or using a harsh voice with your loved one, as children may copy what they see and hear.

Instead, demonstrate patience and respect. Show children that meaningful connection is still possible. They can continue talking, laughing, and spending time together, even if those interactions look different than how they once did.

Encourage Shared Activities

Simple, structured activities can create positive experiences for both children and the person with dementia. These moments foster connection and help children see that their relationship with their loved one still matters. Consider:

• Arts and crafts projects

• Listening to music or singing familiar songs

• Looking through photo albums and sharing memories

• Reading stories out loud

Protect Childhood

If your family is living in the same home as someone with dementia, it’s important to ensure that caregiving responsibilities do not overshadow a child’s everyday needs. Children need reassurance that their world is still stable and that their needs remain important.

• Avoid asking a young child to “babysit” or take on caregiving duties

• Make sure they have time for schoolwork, hobbies, and friends

• Spend one-on-one time together so they don’t feel overlooked

• Be honest about your own feelings, but avoid overwhelming them with adult concerns

Create Safe Spaces for Feelings

Children and teens may struggle to express how they feel. Some worry about adding to the stress they see in the adults around them. Others may feel embarrassed by their grandparent’s behavior or cope by becoming distant or withdrawn. Watch for changes in behavior at home or school. Acting out, disengagement, or sudden mood shifts may signal unspoken worries.

Let them know regularly that it’s okay to talk about their feelings. If they are more comfortable speaking with someone else, consider a trusted family member, teacher, school counselor, social worker, or therapist. Giving them options helps ensure they don’t carry their concerns alone.

Build Understanding and Empathy

When children receive clear information and emotional support, they are better able to understand what is happening. This understanding often leads to greater empathy, improved communication, and stronger family bonds.

With patience, honesty, and reassurance, families can navigate dementia together, helping children feel informed, valued, and connected every step of the way. To learn more about dementia and how to engage and support someone living with it, contact Mellie.