Should You Move an Elderly Relative Closer?

At some point, many families face a tough question: Would it be better if my relative lived closer?  Maybe you’re juggling long-distance caregiving, managing frequent phone calls, or worrying every time the weather turns bad. The idea of having your parent nearby can feel easier, but like most big life decisions, there are trade-offs to think through carefully.

Below are some of key points to consider, as well as some questions you might ask yourself and your loved one as you explore this possibility.

Health and Care Needs Take Priority

Start with the most practical question: what kind of care does your relative need right now and what might they need in the near future? Does your area have the right doctors, specialists, or care facilities to meet their needs?

The Emotional Side of Moving

Moving isn’t just about logistics—it’s also about feelings and relationships. Your relative may be leaving behind the home they’ve lived in for decades, along with neighbors, friends, and a familiar community. Even if they’re excited about being closer to family, the sense of loss can be real. Talk openly about how they feel and what it means to "start over." Identifying resources ahead of time can make the transition smoother.

How It Affects Your Family

It’s natural to think about how much easier it might be for you if your relative is nearby. But it’s also worth asking: how will this affect the rest of the household?  If they live nearby, caregiving might still take up a lot of your time and energy. If they move in with you, it’s an even bigger adjustment for you, your spouse or children. Setting expectations early is one of the best ways to avoid misunderstandings or resentment later.

Money Matters

Relocating can be expensive. There might be costs tied to selling a home, paying movers, or finding a new place to live. And then there’s the ongoing cost of care. Is your area more or less affordable than where they live now? Talking through the financial side up front helps avoid surprises down the road.

Quality of Life in the New Location

A move isn’t just about bringing your relative closer to you—it’s also about making sure they’ll have a fulfilling life once they’re there. Think about what will help them feel at home: senior centers, clubs, volunteer opportunities, faith communities, or simply a nearby park where they can take a walk. Staying socially connected is just as important to health as medical care.

Timing Is Everything

Sometimes the hardest question isn’t if your relative should move, but when. Moving sooner, while your parent is still relatively independent, may make for an easier transition. Waiting until a crisis occurs can add extra stress for everyone. If you sense that a move will eventually be necessary, planning ahead can make it feel less rushed and overwhelming.

When a Parent Moves In With You

For some families, the answer isn’t just moving closer, instead it’s moving in together. This can be a wonderful way to stay connected and make caregiving easier, but it also comes with its own set of challenges. Here are a few things to think about:

• Space and safety: Will your home need adjustments like grab bars, ramps, or even a main-floor bedroom?

• Privacy: How will you balance shared family time with the need for everyone to have their own space?

• Family roles: Who will take the lead on caregiving tasks, driving to appointments, or managing medications?

• Impact on daily life: How will this change routines for your kids, spouse, or even your own work schedule?

• Support: Remember, “moving in” doesn’t mean you have to do it all yourself. Outside help like respite care, adult day programs, or visiting aides can give you breathing room.

Making the Decision Together

At the end of the day, moving a relative closer is both a practical and an emotional decision. It’s about safety and convenience, but also about respect, independence, and family harmony. Try to involve your relative and your family in every step of the conversation, if feasible. Their voices matter, and feeling included can ease some of the stress of change. 

There’s no single “right” answer for every family. But by weighing health, emotions, finances, family dynamics, and household realities, you’ll be better equipped to make a thoughtful choice. Moving closer can open the door to connection, peace of mind, and more time together—but only if it works for everyone.

If you’re beginning to think about this transition, Mellie can help you develop a practical and compassionate plan for moving your loved one closer to you. Contact us today to learn how we can support your family through the process.